I'm not sure whether we want Tommy to remember that day in the second grade. I kind of hope he has been able to put the whole second-grade year to bed as a very distant memory that does not make him cringe or ache. I do wonder whether there were any grown-ups at Northwoods Elementary School in 1959 who thought it might be their responsibility to try to find help for Tommy. My memory is that he was scolded for wetting his pants. Do you suppose adults thought he was doing that deliberately?
Some of this seems to be rooted in an understanding of sin that is unhelpful, if not just plain damaging. Can't "sin" be presented as a "usually less good option" than as a line in the dirt that elicits God's judgment or anger? It seems like children intuitively understand that an action always contains intent--and that intent is a huge part of defining whether something is sinful or virtuous? Having said this, though, I struggled in 4th or 5th grade with the Biblical text about the quote from Matthew 12 about "blaspheming the Holy Spirit"...what was that? And somehow, I linked it with taking communion without having attended confession (high Episcopal I was, at that time!). Maybe the best statement on this is from a little card that I had in my office at church--"Sometimes, I think we give God a headache".
I remember a sermon you preached years ago in which you encouraged me to understand sin as disconnection, or separation, or taking ourselves out of relationship with one another and with God. Would that be approximately what you taught from the pulpit? Back in those days, almost everything you said in the pulpit made me reconsider my ideas abut the usefulness of religion.
We make it difficult for children to recognize that intention is relevant to moral culpability, because our punishments and rewards are largely based on outcomes, not on intentionality. Piaget thought it took about seven years for children to understand that the child who broke a tray a dishes while trying to help was less blameworthy than the child who broke one dish while trying to steal. The children I teach have this insight much earlier.
When I was 10, my mother was the youth group leader at our United Methodist Church. That summer, a trip was planned to go to Lake Junaluska and I desperately wanted to go with the group- but I was one year too young. My mom wanted me to go with the group too. Of course, I knew all of the youth in the group as I tagged along to all of the meetings with my mom and older sister, sitting in a Sunday school room by myself when it wasn’t appropriate for me to be in certain small groups. It was a big moral dilemma for me because I knew that lying was wrong, so going on the trip and saying I was old enough to attend would be lying. So I decided that I would stay with my friend’s family and not go on the trip. I still wish that I had gone because they had so much fun and got really close that year. But I also felt good for not lying.
I hope Tommy Simms remembers being loved on by you, and that he is dancing with a kind redheaded partner in his life somewhere today.
I'm not sure whether we want Tommy to remember that day in the second grade. I kind of hope he has been able to put the whole second-grade year to bed as a very distant memory that does not make him cringe or ache. I do wonder whether there were any grown-ups at Northwoods Elementary School in 1959 who thought it might be their responsibility to try to find help for Tommy. My memory is that he was scolded for wetting his pants. Do you suppose adults thought he was doing that deliberately?
Some of this seems to be rooted in an understanding of sin that is unhelpful, if not just plain damaging. Can't "sin" be presented as a "usually less good option" than as a line in the dirt that elicits God's judgment or anger? It seems like children intuitively understand that an action always contains intent--and that intent is a huge part of defining whether something is sinful or virtuous? Having said this, though, I struggled in 4th or 5th grade with the Biblical text about the quote from Matthew 12 about "blaspheming the Holy Spirit"...what was that? And somehow, I linked it with taking communion without having attended confession (high Episcopal I was, at that time!). Maybe the best statement on this is from a little card that I had in my office at church--"Sometimes, I think we give God a headache".
I remember a sermon you preached years ago in which you encouraged me to understand sin as disconnection, or separation, or taking ourselves out of relationship with one another and with God. Would that be approximately what you taught from the pulpit? Back in those days, almost everything you said in the pulpit made me reconsider my ideas abut the usefulness of religion.
We make it difficult for children to recognize that intention is relevant to moral culpability, because our punishments and rewards are largely based on outcomes, not on intentionality. Piaget thought it took about seven years for children to understand that the child who broke a tray a dishes while trying to help was less blameworthy than the child who broke one dish while trying to steal. The children I teach have this insight much earlier.
I like this Marsha. Good words from your mother.
When I was 10, my mother was the youth group leader at our United Methodist Church. That summer, a trip was planned to go to Lake Junaluska and I desperately wanted to go with the group- but I was one year too young. My mom wanted me to go with the group too. Of course, I knew all of the youth in the group as I tagged along to all of the meetings with my mom and older sister, sitting in a Sunday school room by myself when it wasn’t appropriate for me to be in certain small groups. It was a big moral dilemma for me because I knew that lying was wrong, so going on the trip and saying I was old enough to attend would be lying. So I decided that I would stay with my friend’s family and not go on the trip. I still wish that I had gone because they had so much fun and got really close that year. But I also felt good for not lying.
Thanks for this memory, Steph. This will send me back to my 3000 stories to see what children have to say about telling lies! Stay tuned!
Beautiful story Marsha!
Thanks, Becky. Next week, I'll go back to elementary school children's stories, but in the future I may intersperse stories of my own memories.